... what?
... You sure? This doesn't really seem like, uh, your tastes.
There's cute animals everywhere!
I thought you were solely focused on..
Not everything's gotta be fighting, dad! It's pretty boring to dedicate your whole life to just one thing, isn't it?
... A-anyway
Hey wai-
Age: 11
Hell.
Location: Town
Free choice between this, city, and island. I don't like cities and too much water.
Background: Mayor.
... They're letting an 11-year-old kid run for mayor?
Funny that you say "kid."
(-100
KJBSJNDNLNE???
I should note that although we look like, uh, Toriel's race of monster, we don't have any of their supernatural abilities. So no fire magic. ANYWAY.
Wai-
Free Things
-Town Fruit!
(We rolled a free choice! I think I'd like strawberry trees to grow here...)
(Dad, strawberries don't grow on-)
*(What the fuck)
-"Tortimer's Apprentice" Perk (Free for Mayor)
(We have the know-hows on running a town. Including delegating work.)
(We?)
(Uh, wait until I get to the companion import section.)
-Outfit Redesign
(... I like my vest...)
(Why don't you redesign your magical girl outfit?)
(.........you're so right.)
-The ability to import the town into another jump.
(What. How. Why.)
(The ability to import the town into another jump, most likely just integrating the home into our
existing home and the town into the current jumps' history, and Jumpchain.)
-Museum -
(On the subject of the town, this building is now part of it. Right now, it's empty, but if we all
contribute it'll be a wonderful viewing source of fish, insects, fossils and artwork!)
(You're a nerd, Dad.)
Drawbacks and Suffering
(up to +600 CB)
-The Missing Piece +100 CB
(I've gotta collect things. This world isn't going to make it easy.)
(So, nothing new I guess.)
-Buggy +200 CB
(Bug bites. They hurt, and they're frequent.)
Perks + Items
(1200 CB to spend) 1200
-Friendly - 200 CB
(As this says, I'll be able to quickly make new friends where ever I go)
(You're like, the most asocial person I know.)
(Well, um, I've been thinking, I may need the ability to make more alliances. That's all.)
-100% Approval Rating -
(Finally. I'm a good leader... With this perk I'll be able to run things smoothly, in a way that makes
everyone happy. Well, as happy as possible, life always has problems. Like the fact this doesn't
stop power hungry people from whatever they'd want to do.)
(And also the fact you'll only be a mayor in this jump, probably)
-Mayor for Life -600 -
(You were saying?)
(... well damn.)
-Furniture -50 CB
(Ten free pieces of furniture. So, I'm gonna take a harvest mirror for sur-)
(............................................................................................................)
(... Still gonna do it, no matter how hard you stare.)
-Tier Three House -300 CB
(All of the basic utilities, four rooms on the ground floor, another room on top of that. I figured it'd be
the least I could do, if Dido and I are gonna share a house.)
(You know, it says I could have my own house.)
(... Y-yeah, but.)
(... You freaking softie. Don't cry, I'll stay with you Dad.)
-Cozy House -
(A-again, least I could do.)
(Thanks.)
-Police Station -200 -100 CB (Discount Mayor)
(It's staffed, and adhere to the universes closest equivalent to law enforcement. It's nice to have a
sense of order in all of this chaos...)
(Shame the doggies won't leave town, ever.)
-Aesthetics -50 CB
(Custom aesth-)
(NO. NO.)
(... what?)
(You are not making an entire town made of glass!)
(... I... wasn't going to. I was... do... do people really think I would do that??)
... You... didn't buy a shop.
From what I understand, I'd be purchasing a shop I'd own. Which isn't that necessary, I'd be more than happy to contribute to our tow- oh shit I need to include you.
Companions
-Assistant -
(So now you have access to all of the mayor perks I've chosen!)
(J-just the mayor perks?)
(I'm afraid so.)
(No extra points for me?)
(I'm afraid so.)
(BLAH.)
Age: 14
Hell.
Location: Town
-100% Approval Rating
-Mayor for Life
(No point in putting extra commentary into this... At least I'll be around cute animals who like me.)
.. So, uh, ready to socialize and run a town?
With you in charge?
Yeah. I won't run it into the ground, promise.
*Photo Credit: Wikipedia. Arbutus Unedo
D is still older than you.
ReplyDeleteGo to bed, small, innocent child of the stars.
Your bed awaits.
Sleep until you're an adult.
Um... no?
DeleteI'm like, actually 36 at this point. ~Dido
Hell. - D. Shard
I remember those sweet summers, when I was 36 and skipped around the meadows.
DeleteYou should cherish these days fondly and go to bed.
Jeez, you worry too much, don'tcha?
DeleteWell, I only got four words for ya.
You're not my dad. ~Dido
Implying you listen to me anyway... - D. Shard
Yeah, but you don't have a mom.
DeleteSo I can adopt you.
Take that.
Actually no, I'll have Julia do it and adopt her as a sister.
Now you have to listen to me.
Go to bed, my young sweet child.
Um. I have objections. - D. Shard
DeleteYou can object when you see a therapist.
DeleteAnd grow a spine.
Both.
I'll start step two right now.
DeleteNeither you nor Julia have permission to adopt Dido.
She's uh, far too eager to be adopted.
You're welcome as a family friend though. - D. Shard
Yeah, but you see: I've been an empress. I can go over your head.
DeleteSo I don't think you have veto power on me.
My role as a father surpasses any royal demand! - D. Shard
Delete... what a nerd. ~Dido
You can say that when you can beat me in a fight, dweeb.
DeleteOr you can give up, and I'll give you a small parcel of land and a title of nobility.
That sounds like a lovely offer, actually!
DeleteBut I'm still not giving permission to adopt my daughter. - D. Shard
I don't need your permission.
DeleteSo you'll have to beat me in a fight.
OH HO HO HO HO HO. I'll be fair I won't even bring forth a comprehensible part of my power.
Don't disappoint me it would be a shame if you did.
I refuse to fight.
DeleteSimple as that. - D. Shard
Alright.
DeleteDon't worry.
Dido can keep your last name.
I'll just kidnap them when I feel like it, teach them martial arts or something.
Don't worry.
SHE ALREADY KNOWS KUNG-FU.
DeleteNOW YOU'RE JUST BEING REDUNDANT. - D. Shard
Yeah, but does she know...
DeleteDreaming Pearlescent Courtesan Style!
Or... no wait. Never mind, not that.
Orgiastic Fugitive Style!
Or...
Even Blade Style!
So that isn't redundant.
THOSE SOUND COOL DAD CAN I LEARN THOSE!? ~Dido
Delete... Okay, how about a compromise. You can tutor Dido on these particular martial arts. You don't have to grant me any land or a title or anything. I'm willing to pay for these services. - D. Shard
Yeah, but I have to adopt Dido before I'll teach them.
DeleteDenied. - D. Shard
DeleteLAME. ~Dido
You can't deny me.
DeleteI outrank you.
So you have to rebel.
But you won't fight me.
I win.
Dido is adopted by Julia.
Now now, a rebellion doesn't have to be a fight.
DeleteHow about Go?
It's a very intellectual game. - D. Shard
If you screw off for 10 years to play Go, you can't challenge the adoption.
DeleteSo...
I'll happily play Go with you for as many years as it takes to keep the adoption from taking place.
DeleteHow about it? - D. Shard
No.
DeleteDido is adopted now.
You now have to share custody with Julia.
If you ask to play Go again, I'll lock you in a room filled with magical swords that I don't remember what they do.
No. She is not. I want official documentation of this.
DeleteHow about Hide and [REDACTED] Seek? - D. Shard
The official documentation is that as both a Green Sun Princess, and being the Scarlet Empress, and being a princess-that was a queen.
DeleteI can say it is so, and then it is so.
This isn't your empire.
DeleteIt's my town.
Those titles aren't recognized he- Dido what are you doing?
WRITING UP A LAW, WHY? ~Dido
I declare it my territory.
DeleteI have territory creation as a skill.
Your town is now my territory.
In order to calmly ensure succession, I will give you as much therapy as you want post-spark. From anyone you want.
I am a merciful Empress.
You may express gratitude.
... I can compromise with this.
DeleteI will accept therapy
I will accept my town being under her Empress' territory
I will accept whatever family Dido chooses to become a part of (given she retains the Shard name)
I will accept all of these terms
After I've claimed a spark. - Desmond Shard
Accept them now.
DeleteAlso, if you accept now.
I'll give you like, I dunno, a free position as a high priest or something.
I'm not particularly interested in being a religious figure.
DeleteMy conditions stand. They will be met when and only when I acquire a spark. - Desmond Shard
Too bad, I'm an Empress.
DeleteI do what I wish.
Hmm, I see.
DeleteToo bad I'm stubborn. I refuse. - D. Shard
You being stubborn changes nothing.
DeleteI'm an Empress.
You might try and deny me, but I cannot be denied.
Are you
DeleteIs this a joke?
The D stands for Denial. - D. Shard
Yeah, but denial doesn't work in this case.
DeleteBesides, my name is Amelia.
And the A stands for "above you in every possible way, and can do whatever she wants, regardless of your denial."
I refuse. - D. Shard
DeleteToo bad, I'll force you anyways.
DeleteIt's impressive how you can show something resembling a spine to me, but not to Dingo.
I can think of a ton of things that start with the letter S but no one wants to hear them. For what it's worth, I'm a princess so I am equally as qualified to raise Dido. I will happily accept all kids.
ReplyDelete-Sigmund
The S stands for Subordinate.
DeleteYou're my subordinate now.
The A stands for assistant to my S stands for superior.
DeleteI am your superior, assistant.
-Sigmund
Yeah, but I'm an empress.
DeleteAnd you're a princess.
It's clear you're a liar, and the S stands for subordinate, meanwhile the A in Amelia stands for amazing.
But you know what happens when empresses die? They get replaced by princesses. Sleep with one eye open, Amelia.
Delete-Sigmund
(Tis a joke)
If you could beat Gennadius, I'd be capable of worrying.
DeleteBut Gennadius is clearly the better green man.
Only beaten out by that Lewis guy.
R A D ! ~Dido
ReplyDeleteWHY DO YOU ALL WANT TO TAKE THE LITERAL ONLY FAMILY I HAVE AWAY FROM ME!? - D. Shard
No, we're adopting half of her and forcibly integrating her into Julia's. Which means you're now family with her.
DeletePLEASE.
DeleteDO
Do not.
Please. - D. Shard
I want to be her father where you have failed! I will teach her my ways and ensure that your cowardice will not hinder her on her path for greatness!
Delete-Sigmund
I'll split the adoption with Sigmund.
DeleteSigmund and Julia now join D as Dido's parents.
Man. Now I have like. 3 dads and a mom.
DeleteHow did I become the kid with the least amount of parents to the most? ~Dido
I
Why
Are you all like this.
I just wanted to have a relaxing town. - D. Shard
No town is a town without a bunch of iconoclasts! And Dido, do not question how you came to be. Think of it this way! Siegfried will love you as a little sister!
Delete-Sigmund
D think about it this way: Dido gets more parents, and now you get to be a part of Julia's (small) family, and Sigmund's (green) family.
DeleteBut
DeleteI
I want my own family
Maybe that's selfish
but
... - D. Shard
Considering the fact that Dido will be marrying Diorra sometime in the future, why are you trying to deny us in the family when Dingo will be part of it. I think we all know that I'm a much better father to Dido than Dingo is.
Delete-Sigmund
You don't own family.
DeleteFamily owns you D.
T
DeleteTo Mr. Ahlberg, I. Didn't really get. A choice in the matter.
To Ms.
Ms. Rose.
What. - D. Shard
You don't get a choice here.
DeleteWe deny it.
You're now part of Julia's biological family, and other, more important family.
So Karp of Magi is like your brother now or something.
He might be able to look intimidating, and scare off Dingos.
.........................
DeleteI
I have
a town
to
you know
Mayor. - D.
Screw you, welcome to the family now.
DeleteNow you have to deal with 8 screwballs, myself, and Sigmund's family mutant tree that keeps branching and expanding.